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Please, vote for Volibear to get the next rework

Coming out of retirement to gracelessly beg you to rework my big, Coca-Cola son

Riot recently announced a vote for the next rework champion. We, the players, get to choose from five old characters, and Riot will do the rest. It’s like American Idol, but for which League of Legends champion is the shittiest. Our choices are Shyvana, Dr. Mundo, Fiddlesticks, Nocturne, and Volibear, my very good boy.

I could write a post telling you the pros and cons of who to vote for. Maybe you don’t have an opinion on this group. Maybe you just can’t decide. Maybe, like so many American youths, you’ve decided that your vote doesn’t really matter and so you’re just gonna skip it.

STOP IT.

I need this. I need you to care. I need you to vote.

I can’t do it alone, no matter how many level one accounts I make.

Riot Games

There is one choice for who deserves this rework the most, and that’s Volibear — a fluffy young man. I know Fiddlesticks is horrible, Dr. Mundo is crusty, that nobody cares about Nocturne, and that Shyvana is so close to being a really cool champion. But all of these characters have had their moment. They’ve been good. They’ve glistened in the sun in their low-poly majesty. But Volibear has always been a joke, and he deserves better.

Let’s break it down.

Riot Games

Fiddlesticks

You already hate Fiddlesticks. Why else would you be here? Do you want Fid to get played more than he already is? You don’t, do you? He will if he gets a rework, you know I’m right. Over the past several years, he’s popped around and made appearances in pro games and solo queue alike. He can be good, in the right scenario.

Riot Games

Shyvana

Shyvana has problems, but she’s already a good champion. She’s fun to play, and her soft rework from a few years ago made her pretty powerful in the right situations. Now in some cases that can make her pretty toxic, but better some viability than nothing.

Riot Games

Dr. Mundo

Dr. Mundo is good. Dr. Mundo is fun to play. Dr. Mundo is not fun to fight. That’s a bummer! But we’ll get to Dr. Mundo. Right now, he’s a playable champion, and they’ve done some altering to him over the years. I’m not ready to let go of Raid Boss Mundo.

Riot Games

Nocturne

All of us have had enough screen darkness to last a lifetime. Riot can and will definitely do some really neat stuff to Nocturne when he eventually gets his rework. Like a worse version of Shyvana, Nocturne already feels close to being a decent champion. Let him sit for a bit longer.

Riot Games

Volibear

Voli is the most clear choice. For me and for all of us. But let me tell you why this was never a debate.

He was the first champion I ever played seriously in League. Top Volibear back in the days of sub-30 season 3. He wasn’t a good champion, but he was pretty easy to understand. And, most importantly, he was just a big bear that told puns. It’s a simple but effective bit.

In all that time — seven years, for the love of god — Riot has barely touched Volibear.

Riot Games

He’s gotten some new lore, which is pretty neat, and a few base changes to his abilities. But nothing major; nothing resembling a rework. He was a season 1 champion, and he has fewer than 30 ability changes in his lifetime, not counting minor stat buffs or nerfs. For reference Nocturne, added the same patch, has about 45.

Volibear also has the worst ultimate in the game. It’s not that it isn’t particularly useful or only adds mobility; it’s borderline non-functional. Almost all of his changes revolve around Thunder Claws, because of how truly useless it is.

Volibear should be a big, shiny thunder boy in scary god armor, but he just sucks. I’m not alone in my love for him (there are dozens of us!), but even I can’t say my love is because I think he’s fun or useful or well designed. He’s none of those things. He just reminds me of getting into League for the first time. Volibear is a nostalgia play with a single iconic ability.

Volibear deserves better, because he’s never gotten the chance to be a real champion. He’s always been a disappointment, and yet we’re drawn to him. So many other champions, especially the other ones on this ballot, have had their chance. Isn’t it time for Volibear to have a moment in the sun?

The others will get reworked eventually. But for now, Volibear needs it the most.

Please, vote bear. Let me rest.