Ranking champions by their pets

If you didn’t already know that we love pets at the Rift Herald, you will now. There are lots of champions out there that have fuzzy (or not so fuzzy) loved ones that they keep with them at all times. Some of them are even gameplay relevant!

The criteria of this list is very specific. These pets must be single entities, so spiderlings and saplings don’t count. They also can’t be another champion, so Xayah is out even though she keeps Rakan on a short leash (eyyyy). Kayn and Rhaast are out because they’re just ... they’re creepy.

Without further ado, let’s rank these from worst to best.

Janna and bird

OK, so Janna is the clear loser here. She has this bird right, and the bird follows her around everywhere. Now, technically, this bird isn’t even a bird. The bird itself is a wind elemental. Where Janna really loses out here as that we don’t even know the name of the damn bird for sure. Is it Zephyr? Probably, that’s the skill that the bird is used for.

But the mere fact that we don’t even know for sure if that’s the bird’s name is a failure. Shame on you Janna, you should have your bird-whose-name-is-probably-Zephyr-and-also-isn’t-a-real-bird taken away from you.

Jinx, Pow-Pow, and Fish-bone

Somehow, Jinx’s guns are better than Janna’s bird. Why? Because Jinx went through the trouble of naming her guns something. Now, Pow-Pow and Fishbone are not living pets. In fact, they are just guns that Jinx has meticulously painted. But, Jinx is ... eccentric ... and it’s really the thought that counts here.

Nunu and Willump

Nunu and Willump are two of the closest characters in League. They go literally everywhere together. But that’s why Nunu falls pretty low pet ownership spectrum. Nunu himself does basically nothing and is responsible for like ... one skill. Willump, on the other hand, does lots of things. He eats stuff, he makes snow explode from his body and does all the running. But Nunu gets all the credit. If the champion was called Nunu and Willump, they would be much higher on this list. But just Nunu? Selfish.

Riot Games

Lulu and Pix

This is where things start to get hard. All of the pet owners and friends are pretty much great starting here. Pix is Lulu’s little fairy that flies around and helps Lulu out. But Lulu is a little spacey and weird. Frankly, without Pix, I would be very concerned for Lulu’s ability to focus on the combat at hand. They seem to work great as a team and Pix obviously has a great deal of affection for her weird little Yordle friend. Someone should just try and make sure that Lulu remembers to feed Pix from time to time.

Quinn and Valor

This is a pair that is basically inseparable. Not only is Quinn a hardworking falconer, but shes also taught her beloved pet a skill: pecking out the eyes of her enemies. I don’t mean to tell a professional falconer how to do her job or how to take care of her bird, but I must say that I am a little concerned with how Quinn holds on to Valor during her ultimate. But no matter what, Valor always seems to come back to mark Quinn’s enemies for her. Very sweet.

Sejuani and Bristle

Look, Sejuani is the cruel, cold, true Queen of the North. But that doesn’t mean she can’t be nice once in a while. Bristle is her faithful steed, a big boar with scary tusks. But Bristle isn’t just a big boar, he’s a REALLY big boar. More importantly, he’s very well trained and listens to everything Sej tells him. But they also seem to have fun together in some of their recalls. Any big boar that can melt Sejuani’s heart must be pretty special.

rasbearyart

I mean, look how cute this high school alternate universe fanart is!

Ivern and Daisy

Ivern is easily the nicest hero in League of Legends. He is extremely friendly to every plant, champion and animal he meets. This, of course, extends to his good friend, Daisy the rock golem. Now, if we are measuring on how close two owners/friends are, Ivern and Daisy rank pretty well. I mean, Ivern has lots of friends, but he seems to treasure Daisy most of all. But on the scale of how well taken care of Daisy is? Ivern passes with flying colors.

Swain and Beatrice

These two are like a creepy match in heaven. Swain is a weird old man who likes birds and Beatrice is a weird old bird. It fits perfectly. Similarly to Sejuani, Swain is not the nicest person, but he really does seem to have quite a soft spot for his crazy, magic bird. Beatrice also seems to like Swain quite a bit too, considering her willingness to sit on the ground and shout angry colors at things every few seconds.

Sadly, the love between man and bird is coming to an end with the Swain rework :(

While he is still all birdy-like, Swain’s beloved Beatrice is nowhere to be seen in his actual kit. But she still lives on in his heart, as well as all of ours. Hopefully she shows up in his story.

Kled and Skaarl

Ah, these two dopes. Kled is not the sharpest crayon in the League of Legends box and like Jinx he is ... eccentric. But that doesn’t make him any less of a great caregiver of his buddy Skaarl. Other than our obvious number one, I don’t think any of these champions love their pet as much as Kled loves Skaarl. Kled is crazy (in a fun way!) and his love for Skaarl is very cute. Skaarl does leave him behind when danger rears its, but I think that’s more about Skaarl being a lizard with the brain the size of a peanut than anything. As soon as Kled gets a foothold, Skaarl always comes back to fight with her friend.

Riot Games

Annie and Tibbers

Annie is the only champion here that actively feeds her pet with life. Without Annie, Tibbers is just a stuffed bear. But with her power, he is a towering inferno of fluff. Annie’s love for Tibbers is “almost cheating” levels of high. She is a child, and a child’s love for their pet is pure in a way that few things are. Similarly, Tibbers guards Annie the same way any dog or cat would attempt to protect their tiny human. These two go together so well and will never be separated.