By the end of this week, a new Star Wars movie will be out in theaters. Rogue One: A Star Wars story will mark the second Star Wars film to be released since Disney acquired the license. At least two of us here are the Rift Herald are super pumped for this year’s film, and to celebrate, we decided to try and determine what champions in League of Legends could use a little love from a galaxy far, far away....
Ryan: Ok, Austen. Lets get started here. First, I present you with Wampa Rengar.
Most people will recognize this cuddly buddy from the beginning of Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back, when he attacks Luke and traps him in his cave. He doesn’t even need a knife to be Rengar! Look at those claws. He could bola people with ice, he could have a TaunTaun bone necklace, he could even make that weird sound that Wampas make. Plus, I can’t think of many things scarier than havin’ this guy jump out of a bush, can you? I believe in Wampa Rengar, and I think you should too.
Austen: How about Tusken Raider Caitlyn. In full Tatooine costume, with the giant gun in tow, I think it would be perfect. Think of all the similarities, they both have giant guns and excessive hats, they even share that weird quasi-steampunk look. And if we ever get another Shurima lore event — preferably one that changes the map this time — her strange desert camouflage will look right at home. Even better, every time she gets a kill with an Ace in the Hole we could get a global version of that weird noise the Tusken Raiders make.
On the other hand, that would make a great global laugh too.
Ryan: I think one of my favorites is TaunTaun Rider Kled.
Kled is already one of the goofiest champions and if you put him on top of one of the goofiest Star Wars critters, well, I think that is just a recipe for success right there. Plus, Luke already has all of the things that he would need to be Kled. He has the magnetic grappling hook that he uses on the AT-AT for “Bear-Trap on a Rope,” he has his lightsaber to stab stuff with, and he has a blaster for when he is on his own. And, AND, when he recalls he can cut open his TaunTaun and take a nap. This skin is perfect and I need it in my life.
Ryan: I personally don’t think that we have gotten stupid enough with these skins yet, so may I present to you Sarlacc Pit Tahm Kench.
This skin would be dumb, like really dumb. How does a Sarlacc Pit walk around Summoner’s Rift? Well I don’t know Riot, you got some stuff to figure out. The Sarlacc Pit already has those weird tentacles for Tahm’s tongue and the ult seems weird enough to work out pretty nicely. I think that the biggest hurdle is figuring out what to do with the walk animation? Maybe just have him hop around a little like he is Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors or a Like Like from The Legend of Zelda. Yeah lets just do that and save ourselves the trouble of figuring out what Sarlacc pits really look like under all that sand. Either way, this skin has potential, mostly just to be bad and dumb, but potential nonetheless. I want to see the Sarlacc Pit eat some people in my League of Legends matches, is that too much to ask?
Austen: Imagine with me for a second. You’re right at the end of a two hour long game, just on the brink of defeat, about to lose off of a teamfight you engaged. All of the sudden you realize that you lost track of one of your teammates and they have stopped pinging. What’s wrong, have they left the game, have they turned off their computer? Then, without warning, you see them fly all the way down the bottom lane and into the enemy base and destroy their Nexus -- with one, and only one, shot directly into a conveniently vent shaped weak point -- and suddenly:
The day is saved, thanks to Rebel Pilot Corki! Think of it. Corki’s giant mustache waving out both sides of his X-Wing’s cockpit. His normal World War I helmet replaced with one emblazoned with the Symbol of the Rebel Alliance. All the while shouting lines said during Star Wars’ shockingly small number of actual star wars.
Ryan: Personally, I think this next one is one of the best ideas here and I can’t even take credit for it. Austen, you made this one up, but somehow I got stuck writing about it. Whatever, it is too good to pass up: Emperor Kennen.
I mean. Its already right there you guys. You already turned Kennen green and made him Yoda. Why NOT make him old as the earth itself and give him a black cloak. It would be so EASY. Not to mention that seeing him float around the map shocking the life out of people (like he already does) would add years to my life. Think about it.
Austen: Finally, my most thoroughly ridiculous idea: Hutt Urgot. First, some background: You may remember the Hutts as being the race Jabba is apart of — for those who don’t remember, he’s the big guy, who already looks a little Urgoty to be honest.
But there is something more important in that image. See the little creature just in front of Jabba to his left.
It’s important that I tell you right now, that I am not making any of this up.
That thing’s name is Salacious B. Crumb, and he is a Kowakian Monkey-Lizard -- two things he does not look like. You may remember his brief appearance in Star Wars Episode 6: Return of the Jedi for laughing like this:
So, this is where the skin part comes in. It’s Urgot, shaped like Jabba, with no lower half. Instead, he is being carried on a platter like a king or a pharaoh, by four Kowakian Monkey-Lizards, all just as tiny and horrible as the aforementioned Mr. Crumb, whose laughs are all exactly this annoying:
And anytime Urgot chooses, all four awful little Monkey-Lizards laugh at the same time.
I apologize if this skin is ever actually added to League of Legends.
Ryan: My last one is pretty fun I think. Ivern is already, weird, tall, and awkward, so what if we just went ahead and made C-3PO Ivern, Jungle-Cyborg relations.
Sure his Q could be wires and the bushes he could put up could just be Death Star Garbage disposal piles, but think of the potential for Daisy. This tall robot dude runs up to you and all of a sudden you have a Wookie coming at you? Can you image? By far the best past would be that he could just make all of the jungle creatures worship him when he sets them free with his passive. More importantly, when he recalls, he could just fly away in a little wooden throne. This would be a fun skin, and now I would like to have it.
I mean, there are more things that we could probably do here, like Death Star Vel’Koz...
But maybe we should just cut our loses before we get swarmed by a pack of Kowakian Monkey-Lizards (???) Maybe some of these skins could join the already “great” Star Wars skins in League like Chosen Master Yi....
and Swamp Master Kennen....
Sigh. Until the day that all of these other skins can become a reality, I guess they will just be little force-fueled dreams for all of us....